Sitting in Two Places at Once: Working with Ambivalence in Therapy

Ambivalence can feel like standing at a fork in the road, with one foot on each path. It’s the “yes, but…” that lingers in the background of our decisions. The longing for change mixed with the fear of what that change might bring. In therapy, ambivalence is not something to be solved — it’s something to be explored.

What is Ambivalence?

Ambivalence is the experience of having mixed or conflicting feelings about something. You might want to leave a relationship and also want to stay. You might crave rest but keep pushing yourself. You might know something needs to change, but feel paralysed when it’s time to act.

This tug-of-war is more common than many realise — and it’s not a sign of weakness or confusion. It’s a sign that there’s more than one part of you with something important to say.

Why Ambivalence Shows Up in Therapy

When someone begins therapy, it’s often because they want something to change. But change is rarely linear or simple. Sometimes we cling to what’s familiar, even if it’s painful, because it feels safer than the unknown.

In the therapy room, ambivalence can show up in many ways:

• Wanting to be open, but feeling guarded

• Talking about change, but repeating old patterns

• Expressing hope, while expecting disappointment

Rather than pushing past ambivalence, a skilled therapist will slow down and stay with it.

How Therapy Can Support You Through Ambivalence

In Gestalt and somatic approaches, we don’t try to eliminate ambivalence — we get curious about it. We explore the different “voices” within you, without judgement, and notice how they show up in your thoughts, body, and emotions.

Some questions that might arise in a session include:

• What do you notice in your body as you speak about this choice?

• What might the hesitant part of you be trying to protect?

• Can we imagine giving each side of this ambivalence a voice?

• What happens if we pause here, instead of trying to push forward?

Through this process, therapy offers a space to:

• Make space for both/and, not just either/or

• Understand the deeper needs beneath resistance

• Move from inner conflict to greater integration and choice

Honouring the Wisdom in the Stuckness

Ambivalence is not a roadblock — it’s a compass. It tells us that something matters deeply. By turning toward that discomfort with curiosity and compassion, therapy can help you honour all parts of yourself, even the ones that seem to be pulling in opposite directions.

Because sometimes the most important growth doesn’t come from charging ahead — it comes from learning to sit with yourself exactly as you are.

If you’re feeling torn, stuck, or unsure where to begin, you’re not alone. Therapy can help you gently explore your ambivalence and find your way forward — not by choosing sides, but by listening deeply to both.

🌿 Ready to begin? Visit terrasoultherapies.com.au or reach out for a complimentary chat.

Ambivalence is explored in therapy as a meaningful inner conflict, not a problem to fix.